


Getaway Car

by letthesongtakeflight



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gang World, F/M, Irowidow, Minor Steve Rogers/Sam Wilson, Pansexual Tony Stark, Tony Stark has zero brain cells, Tonynat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-07
Updated: 2020-10-07
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:28:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26877445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/letthesongtakeflight/pseuds/letthesongtakeflight
Summary: The redhead in the driver’s seat almost leapt out of the car in shock. But Tony screeched “DRIVE!” slamming the door shut behind him. She caught sight of the cops hot on his tail and, without hesitation, merged into the stream of traffic.
Relationships: Natasha Romanov/Tony Stark
Comments: 10
Kudos: 42





	Getaway Car

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt from @theherothechampiontheinquisitor: "Meet Ugly" instead of "Meet Cute” – “You were chased by the cops, got in my car and just yelled ‘Drive!’” AU 
> 
> Send me prompts on tumblr! It'll take me a While to get back to you but I promise I'll work on them!

This was not how Tony anticipated his first mission to go. It was Steve’s fault, really. “Go on,” he said, “you’ll be fine,” he said, “just take the wallet from his back pocket,” he said. “With your cute little face and those big brown eyes no one’s gonna suspect you.” 

Fast forward ten minutes and Tony was being chased through Manhattan by an entire army of cops and probably the actual army, too. He ran past shocked tourists and annoyed businessmen and tutting old ladies. His sneakers pounded the sidewalk, the guy’s wallet clutched in one hand . He should probably drop it but he didn’t have the strength to loosen his hand. If he dropped it there would be absolutely nothing left for him. No respect from Steve, no chance to be on more missions, no place in the gang. 

He was a hacker, he wasn’t cut out for this stuff. What kind of bullshit reason was it anyway, that he had to prove himself by picking pockets? He had to prove his worth before he could meet the elusive leader. Kind of anachronistic, but fine, he could deal with that. But wasn’t it enough that he could hack into any computer or system? That he could move freaking satellites? Why was pick-pocketing part of this insane hazing ritual? 

He could wonder and rant about how unfair it all was all day, but the cops were still on his tail and he was heading straight into the middle of the road. He would be run over by a truck or smash into the side of a shiny Tesla or – 

Dive into the open passenger seat door of an unassuming black sedan. 

The redhead in the driver’s seat almost leapt out of the car in shock. But Tony screeched “DRIVE!” slamming the door shut behind him. She caught sight of the cops hot on his tail and, without hesitation, merged into the stream of traffic. 

Tony was panting, his heart almost jumping out of his chest. His hand still gripping the brown leather wallet that was his trophy from this goddamned adventure. 

“Who the hell are you?” His driver-slash-savior demanded. “And what did you do?” 

He flipped the wallet open – driver’s licence, a handful of tens, a couple of expired coupons at some fancy schmancy fake-classy restaurant, and about fifty thousand coins. This was what he almost got killed for? “Fuck’s sake, Cap,” he groaned. 

“What the fuck are you doing in my car?” The redhead pressed. Her voice was surprisingly steady – if angry – for someone who had a stranger barrel into her car. “Who are you? Why’re the cops after you?” She paused to look at him, taking her eyes off the road for as long as she could while driving. They were startlingly green, and seemed to pierce Tony to the spot. “Did you kill someone?” 

“Calm down,” Tony grumbled. “All I did was pick a pocket.” 

“Not a very good thief, are you?” the redhead snarked. Tony glared at her. She was his about age, but she had the composure of someone much wiser. An old soul, so to speak. He couldn’t help but be impressed.

“Hey, it’s my first time,” Tony said defensively. “And I’m not cut out to be a pickpocket. Clearly.” 

She snorted to hide a laugh, but she couldn’t stop the corner of her mouth tugging up into a smirk. “So who are you, then, the Artful Dodger?” 

“If I told you who I was?” He winked. “I’d have to kill you.” 

The redhead rolled her eyes. “Wow, does that line work?” 

“Only some of the time.” 

“I hope you pick up girls better than you pick pockets.” 

It was his pride as a certified playboy at stake, so he said, with a bit of an edge, “I’ll have you know I’m very popular with the ladies. _And_ the gents, and everyone else. A couple of drinks, some witty one liners – they fall at my feet. No one can resist my irresistible charm.” 

“Evidently I’m the exception,” she drawled sarcastically.

“Just you wait, Red.” Tony grinned. “By the end of this ride you’ll be pining after me. The roguish thief you just can’t stop thinking about.” 

“In your dreams,” she shot back.“We need to get off this island. Too easy to find us here.” She turned onto a bridge across the Hudson River. “Hope you’re going to Jersey.” 

“Actually no.” That was the exact _opposite_ direction from Brooklyn, where the gang’s HQ was. Not to mention that he’s missed his rendezvous with Steve. “You know what, Jersey is perfect. Cross state lines, they won’t follow us. Not for a terrible pickpocket who didn’t even steal anything valuable.” A hint of real sadness slipped into his voice. He had failed the mission. He would be kicked out of the gang – all because he couldn’t steal a wallet without sending half the NYPD on his tail. He’d be back where he was a few months ago – kicked out of college, kicked out of his dad’s house, and without a friend in the whole damn city. 

He rubbed his eyes. He was tired. He didn’t like this… interacting with the world business. He just wanted his screens and an endless supply of snacks and energy drinks. And a target to hack. 

Instead he was here, in a car with a stranger whose car he basically hijacked. And she was studying him from the corner of her eye. Assessing him. Memorizing him. “Well, unfortunately for you, I’m not a taxi service. Where do you want me to drop you off?” 

“Uh, anywhere's fine,” Tony said. “Preferably near the river. I need to get back to Manhattan.” And from there, Brooklyn. 

“You sure about that?” The redhead said. “Thought you were a fugitive or something.” 

“Yeah, well, gotta hustle to eat, Red.”

The car came to a stop and Tony started to get out, making sure his stolen wallet was safely tucked in his pocket. He looked back at the woman. “Thanks, by the way.” 

“Don’t mention it. Just don’t go charging into strangers’ cars again.” There was a hint of a smile on her lips. “I almost shot you.” 

Tony chuckled. “I’ll keep that in mind next time the cops are after me.” 

“I’ll see you ’round.” 

_No, you won’t,_ Tony thought with a pang of regret. Pity, he’d have liked to see her again. “Have a good one, Red.” He got out of the car and closed the door behind him. He watched the black sedan drive off and took a minute to get his bearings. He was somewhere in Jersey. By the Hudson. He could see the Manhattan skyline rising up on the opposite bank, the setting sun setting it to gold. From a distance, the city wasn’t so disgusting after all, when the rats were too far away to be seen. 

He could take the bus back and ride the subway. That was probably the safe thing to do. But it wasn’t fun, and it was slow. Tony hated slow. He eyed the parking lot across the road. 

———————— 

Over an hour, two stolen cars, three detours, and a stinky subway ride later, Tony was in front of the brownstone with graffitied walls that the gang called their HQ. He put his key in the keyhole and the lock turned with reluctance. “Tones, is that you?” Bruce’s voice echoed down the hall from the kitchen. 

“Yeah.” Tony replied glumly. He shrugged off his jacket and hung it up on the crowded row of hooks by the door. He trudged to the living room at the back of the house, where most of the gang was. Steve was sitting on the sofa, with Sam’s head in his lap. Tony pulled the wallet out of his pocket and threw it at the blond man, who caught it easily with one hand before it hit him or his boyfriend in the face.

“Slim pickings,” Steve commented, rifling through the wallet. 

Tony collapsed into an armchair and covered his face with his hands. “Yeah, no thanks to you,” was his muffled reply.

“I’ll go tell the boss.” Sam sat up for Steve to stand. He went upstairs, the stairs creaking with each thumping footstep. 

“So how’d it go, doll?” Bucky asked, nudging Tony. 

Tony groaned through his hands. “I fucked up. So bad.” 

Silence. He peeked through the gaps of his fingers. The others were exchanging concerned glances. 

“It can’t be that bad,” Thor began awkwardly in his lilting Scandinavian accent. “We all have to prove ourselves worthy.” 

“Yeah, well, I basically just proved myself _un_ worthy,” Tony said. 

“At least you didn’t cause a huge traffic jam,” Sam said. “There’s a reason Bucky still isn’t allowed to drive.” 

“Hey, that was one time!” Bucky protested. “But honestly,” he said in a whisper, with a wink at Tony, “You don’t want me to get behind the wheel.” 

“Noted.” Bucky was enough of a disaster on two legs, Tony could only imagine what he could do with four wheels under him. 

“On a motorcycle though –” Bucky began. But he was interrupted by the sound of footsteps coming down the stairs. 

They all turned to face Steve, who had re-entered the room. 

Tony braced himself for Steve to send him packing. 

“Tony, come upstairs with me, please.” 

Tony swallowed. He didn’t have a clever quip ready. He expected to be kicked out forever. Not... whatever this was. 

He followed Steve upstairs – past the first floor where they had their war room for planning heists and the second floor where they had bedrooms. All the way to the top floor, which had been out of bounds until now. Steve knocked on one of the dark wooden doors. 

The voice that called “Come in,” from within was uncannily familiar. 

Steve pushed the door open and gestured for Tony to enter the office in front of him. 

The moment Tony stepped in, he knew why. 

“Red!” 

She smirked. “Told you I’d see you ’round.” 

“You were – “ Tony whirled around to face Steve but he looked perplexed. “Did you –“ He spun back to face the redhead. 

“Words, Tony, darling.” She laughed, a husky sound that was right at home in this office of plush rugs and tall bookshelves and dark wooden furniture. 

The only words that came to mind were – “You know my name?” _Stark, you idiot._ He mentally smacked himself on the forehead. Of course she knew his name. How could she not, when she was the mysterious boss he was trying to prove himself to? 

“Have a seat.” She gestured smoothly at the chairs across the desk. “Steve, I’ll take it from here, thanks,” she added to her captain.

“Sure.” He nodded his head once and left, closing the door behind him. 

Tony held his breath. Watching the woman in front of him. Waiting for her to make the first move. 

And she did. “I suppose I owe you an explanation.” She leaned back in her chair, crossing her arms. “My name is Natasha. I’m the leader of the Avengers. The reason my identity is a secret is because legally, I’m dead.” 

“Are you going to kill me?” Tony said, his voice low and strangely steady. He met her piercing green stare. 

A slight wrinkle of her brow, gone so quickly Tony almost thought he’d imagined it. “What makes you think that?” 

“Your identity is clearly a secret,” he began. “That’s why we need to prove ourselves before we’re initiated. And I’ve obviously failed the test but I’m still here and I’ve seen your face, which means that I probably won’t be leaving this room alive.” He took a deep breath when he was done. He met her eyes, trying to hide his fear.

She gave a single, soft laugh. “Excellent deduction,” she praised. “Except for one thing.” 

Tony frowned. “And what’s that?” 

She leaned forward, her forearms on the desk. “You passed the test.” 

Tony spluttered, blinking in confusion. “But – but –” He spluttered. “What? How? I had half the NYPD after me for picking a single pocket. You can’t fail more than that.” 

“True, you make a terrible pickpocket,” Natasha conceded bluntly with a shrug. “But that was never going to be your job. You’d be a hacker.” 

Tony felt a slight prickle of vindication. 

“And you’ve more than proven your ability to hack into anything, anywhere. But what I didn’t know was how you’d act in crisis, in unforeseen circumstances. In danger.” She gave a small smile. “And you passed.” 

“How I’d – _what_?!” Tony gaped. 

Natasha’s smile widened to an amused smirk, letting Tony process it. 

“Ohmygod,” Tony whispered to himself. “Thank you,” he said to Natasha, heartfelt. 

Natasha extended a hand. “Welcome to the Avengers.” Tony took her offered hand, matching her firm grip with his own, and they shook on it. 

“That’ll be all, Tony.” 

“Right.” Tony pushes back the chair to stand — but stopped and remained sitting. 

“One thing I don’t understand yet.” 

Natasha cocked an eyebrow, inviting him to ask. 

“How did you know I’d run straight into your car?” 

Natasha laughed. “I didn’t. I was only planning to follow you. You caught me by surprise there. And believe me when I say, it’s been a long time since anything in the field caught me by surprise." 

Tony smiled, a hint of his usual cockiness coming through. “Glad to have exceeded your expectations.” 

“Glad to have them exceeded.” Natasha returned, something genuine shining through her poise. 

Tony stood. “My irresistible charm got to you, didn’t it?” he said. 

“No, it didn’t,” she replied, though she was smirking. “Close the door behind you.” 

“Yes, ma’am.” Tony reached the door and turned around. “Oh, and Natasha?” 

She raised an eyebrow at him. 

“I’ll see you ’round.” He gave a mock salute. 

Her face relaxed into a smile. “I’m sure you will." 

**Author's Note:**

> This was fun to write and a pain in the ass to edit.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed it too and leave a comment to let me know if you did!


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